(Readers: Please note the blog is constructed as a story. While not all chapters are linked, after reading a few recent entries, you might want to start at the beginning. More about the blog, how the characters are constructed and about the author.)

I agree this topic has very little to do with why the US is facing a 5th revolution but it will migrate there in a couple of sessions.  Besides lighten up, everyone needs a break now and then.

Scene: JC and Jordan transitioning from an earlier conversation. Just finished a break.

Jordan: “Let’s change the subject.”

JC: “I’m all for that.  How about something a little lighter.”

Jordan: “Alright.  I’ve been thinking about…”

122813_1403_12ThePoundD1.jpgJC: “…No, please.  No thinking.  Keep it light.

Jordan: “This is light, really.”

JC: “OK, what?”

Jordan: “Ever notice how some animals act like children?”

JC: “Huh?  What are you talking about?”

Jordan: “At the house we have a lot of urban wildlife – squirrels, birds, rabbits, ducks and the array of night creatures.”

JC: “So how are these animals…and yes, I know some are reptiles…like children?  I keep thinking kids act more like animals than the other way around.”

Jordan: “Well, when food is plentiful and they don’t need a handout, these little guys basically disappear.”

JC: “Just like children, grown children anyway.  When life is good, they disappear.”

Jordan: “And when life is a bit of a struggle with money or food in short supply, guess who shows up for the handout?”

JC: “Never thought of it quite that way.  Is there really a pattern?”

Jordan: “The ducks might be the most extreme, at least the most obvious.”

cartoon-duck-hiJC: “You talking about real quack-quack ducks?  Where do they come from?”

Jordan: “Remember the back tree line blends into a golf course, although there is no water on the hole.”

JC: “You talking about 3-4, maybe 5 ducks?”

Jordan: “I wish.  Try 25-30 ducks.”

JC: “You have 25-30 ducks feeding in your yard at one time?  You have some kind of gourmet food for them?”

Jordan: “Not really, just some bird seed and corn that I scatter for birds that are ground feeders and the squirrels.”

JC: “Duh.  Putting corn on the ground and he wonders why there are ducks.  But 25-30 is a lot.”

Jordan: “Started out with a couple, actually three.”

JC: “How’d it increase to 25-30?”

Jordan: “Ducks must have some way of telling their friends.  Like kids when someone’s mother makes cookies or brownies.  Everyone seems to know.”

JC: “Alright, what about the smaller birds?  Same pattern as moochy children.  Show up when resources are tight?”

Jordan: “Big time food consumption in the spring, when seeds are in short supply and the hormones are screaming to reproduce.”

JC: “Reminds me of teenagers.  Hungry and horny.  Now what about the squirrels?”

Jordan: “They seem more reliable.  Almost always around and almost always eating.”

JC: “Could be a husband or unwanted guests.  Hanging around and always asking about the next meal.”

Jordan: “Now, now.”

cartoon_squirrel_clip_art_6759JC: “Speaking of unwanted guests, the squirrels ever just move into the house?”

Jordan: “They did the first couple of years, then I found a solution.”

JC: “A gun, poison…what?”

Jordan: “The solution is simple but the guy from Critter Control says we’re crazy.”

JC: “I could buy the crazy part.  OK what’s the secret to keep the pests out of the house?”

Jordan: “About the beginning of November, when they start looking for a place to build a nest, we go to the attic, turn on the lights and turn a radio to some talk station.”

JC: “Rush Limbaugh will scare anyone away.”

Jordan: “Actually, we turn to the local NPR station, which is mostly talk.”

JC: “You think this actually works?” Jordan:  “The first couple of years we had problems.  Since we started to turn on the lights and leave on the radio, no more unwanted visitors.”

radioJC: “What about the neighbors?  They have any problems with squirrels?” Jordan:  “The Critter Control guy practically lives in our neighborhood in late Fall.”

JC: “Like you said.  Simple idea.  Maybe when kids return for a visit and stay too long, I can leave the lights on and leave the radio on NPR.”

Jordan: “I told you this was not a heavy-duty conversation.”

JC: “You know the idea to keep out squirrels might be the best idea you’ve ever had.  Practical, simple and apolitical.”

Jordan: “Wonder how it would get twisted around if we sent the idea to Congress?”

JC: “OK, enough already.  I’m getting a refill before we go on.”

(To be continued)